Three guys and me

So it was that t-boy came to visit and the day he was to go back, which was just one day after he got here, I asked him when he was leaving because at this time we were too far away from his home for him to return that night. So of course it was a given that he would be staying one more night. Somehow he insinuated not even ready to go home. And one way or the other he got an extended stay; one week.

Wednesday of that same week Hugo called, he was going to come in on Thursday or Friday he said. Okay I replied. The coming was overdue. He came in on Friday.

As if it was a planned meet, my best pal called and said he was coming in on Friday. Phew! All of a sudden my place was becoming the Mecca to be at. Yeepi! I exclaimed, about time you came to your senses. I picked Bos up just opposite the 'Tantis' at Ogba at about to six pm on Friday.

This is where the story begins.

The story goes on from there, to where I get home and find the main gate unlocked and after a few cries and no response I grew agitated; where in the world is t-boy? He knew better than to leave my gate unlocked. Nigeria gives you very many reasons to be paranoid; this is fallout of the situation prevalent in the country.

Anyways I shouted some more and he finally came to the window, "I am coming" he said. Phew! What a relief.

So I was let in, with Bos remember, and even before I got out of the car Tolulope, that is t-boy started bemoaning how being home all day had not been great. Power had been out twelve hours. I could imagine his headache since it was just as we drove in that power was restored. "Pele" was all I could say.

I went upstairs to check up on Hugo. Everyone calls him my son. Lolz. Well he really is my first son. We share a bond that cannot be explained, #period. He was still sleeping in spite of my raucous. Ugochukwu I called out to him. He rolled over looked at me rolled his eyes as if to say finally, and dug his head back in the pillow. Lailai I wasn’t going to take that, a proper greeting was required. But this guy is something else. Let me keep that to myself. So I started tickling him and that worked. Lolz. He was tired from over sleeping and not having eaten. "Where you waiting for me to come and cook?" I asked. "Yes na" he responded. "Heyah" was my reply. "You obviously were not really so hungry else you would have eaten" I continued.

Anyway we fixed food, ate and they resumed playing some sort of soccer game. I wasn’t interested and anyway I had a function the following day so it was sleep for me.

Saturday

Left home early. I had to pick ma and pa up at their place and then resume the journey to some 100 and something kilometers to a close family friend's wedding. Got back home rather late. Today they didn’t wait for me to come prepare food. Of cause they had been home all day so they had done brunch and dinner. Well I was too tired to do much. A few gisting and straight to bed. Tomorrow is work. Yes I know it is a Sunday but work had to go on.

Sunday

I left home rather early. I had business to attend to. It was a concert we were organising and sometime during the day the guys joined me at the venue. Sharp guys they were. They didn’t eat before leaving home and knew there was no way they would say that to me and we wouldn’t go food searching. Ended up breaking the bank for them to eat. At least they appreciated it. That is enough compensation.

The programme was a huge success, even if I say so. We got home just a few minutes before midnight. Funny thing is the guys that were already sleeping in the car, got home and straight away it was back to the game for them. I have to learn this soccer thing else I would always be left out.

So for me it was sleep time. Okay and Hugo too.

Monday

I felt that after yesterday's very full day I would be sleeping till about midday. Nope I was up by 8am. That was pretty early considering that I slept rather late, about 2.30am, and work the day before. Anyways when I arose Hugo was already awake. I had chosen to sleep on the floor in the parlour so they could share the bed. Ooo it is a very big bed, queen sized. He was there on the bed wide awake tweeting away. T-boy didn’t get up until an hour and a half later. And Bos, some three hours after t-boy did. Both of them had spent the better part of the night playing soccer on the computer. I am sure they probably didn’t sleep till somewhere around 4 a.m.

Well I could go on and on and give you minute by minute account of how the day was spent but no. It was bad enough they were leaving, then they decided to leave at the same time. Bos back to his aunt's place, Tolulope for home and Ugochukwu for school. The tea break was over. My crib went from being a ten on bubbly, on a scale of one to ten, to a minus two in just about the time it took to step over the porch.

That's it. That's all I am saying. Even as I look forward to the Christmas season with a grateful heart Hope to have a crib full. Hmmm. I guess I should also look out for their leaving too.

He Cares!

He sits beside me and listens,

Listening ever so intently

I sit and brood

My mind turmoiled by the worries of life

I mouth my complains

My voice giving it the expression of my heart

He looks at me and sees,

Seeing ever so clearly

I stand and begin to pace

My steps betraying my emotions

I weep hot tears, sobbing

My face a portrait of despondency

He hears me and knows

Knowing always my thoughts

I sit and fold up myself

Being wrapped in his loving arms

I let go and let God;

He understands my human frailties

Blast from the past - 2008

The following were posts to my facebook page from the 6 day tothe 30th day of November 2008. I kept it and still find it a refreshing read. Hope you do too.
----


I’m dedicating the remainder of da month to friends who one way or the other touched and shaped my life. Some have gone on home before time, some are somewhere around here. Well the bottom-line of my next twenty something days of revelation (hic!) ---- Don’t let the things that matter the most be at the mercy of things that matter the least.


The list is in no particular order. But if ya name no show ….(lol!)


Olufunso Odunukan, Md – Aspiring Prof of community medicine, Harvard alumni (sebi na so?) and the most ‘iwecious’ person I know. Baba Ijebu for you. I was afraid that he was going to follow through with the threat of dumping Med for MBA! But we thank God Lol!

        Damola Sogunro – Margret Thatcher of LASU (lol!). The first woman, girl, female (all na the same) to tell me to shove my opinions and advice to where they are needed. I used to think I was weird till I met her (lol!). But really you don’t want to go into any fight without someone like her in your corner. I guess getting old as put out the fire in her Lol. Damsog!

       Olumide Awoniran – I still can’t remember what was the cause of that fight in Jss3… but it wrecked a great friendship. Foolish pride almost cost me this one. For what it’s worth, sorry for the wahala. I guess I’m still a fighter but I’ve learnt to say sorry.

       Abiola Awosanya – It is so difficult to describe someone who is almost charming to a fault (not to me sha o). An extraordinary lady with a high sense of duty and dedication to the things that matter. Daddy’s gal (I guess I’m looking for a fight… e no matter bring it on. Lol)

   

        Adebisi olatunde – This one, if I had to start ‘adjectivicing’ her, I bet FB will yank me off for trying to over use the allotted space. My aburo,  My friend – one person that I can really be myself with without the fear of hearing the story somewhere else or catching it on the evening news. But you don’t wanna be around her when she wanna yab. Lol! Even the oyinbos don enter one chance with her… She’s teaching them the omo naija style. Lol!

       Olutayo Ajibola – In the short time that I’ve come to know this guy, his commitment to me to say the least is humbliying. I never thought that one day someone would think so highly of me in spite of some things that I’m not talking about here, at least not now. Sir, you do me well.

       Adebisi Adegoke – the most ambitious guy I know. Very determined, tenacious and in spite of you (whoever you be) he grinds on. It was at his place that I got introduced to Asun (sorry I no know the English for am… but na meat wey dem mix with pepper on top of fire). And it was with him that my cloak of pride finally got torn. O my... I remember the free food at FH. Lol! (This guy’s gonna kill me if he hears about this. Lol)

       STV Adegbite: Ok for all you who know him then you must be oooing by now. OYO! I always used to think that all them ministers of God (that’s what they all like to be called) were all so full of S**t! Mostly living outside of reality like ……, ok let me keep that to myself. Saying something on the stage (pulpit) and doing something else off the stage. Good actors! Until I met this guy and of course P.P (Pastor Paul) and those other two pastors with beautiful better half’s at HoTR.

       Back to STV, I practically adopted them (His family) and it’s not unusual to hear me call him by the name of his son rather than the appellation that MOG like so darn much. Well if you think he’s perfect, you are half insane…lol! But watching him I’ve learnt a few things from being your very best both on and off the stage

      Adeleke Adeyemi: This guy was everything I was not. Humble, Highly intelligent, Great conversationalist, 1st Class student and most impressive of all he was a one of a kind keyboardist. If you know me you know how it ‘shaks’ me that I can’t play the piano. Whenever he was around and there was a keyboard, I was urging him on. It was such a delight watching and listening to him play. I guess you are playing with the angels up there now. Just keep practicing o.

       Damilola Awotana – O my after almost sixteen years I remember vividly one act of kindness shown me by this guy and that has earned my respect for life. I’m so sure he won’t remember but I don’t forget good done me. That remains an inspiration for me to give of myself as much as I can.

       Omotayo Bakare – My very first girl friend (?). I bet loads of people are dying to know you now. Lol. That was way in primary school. How she managed to survive my eccentricity and remain who she was, still a stunner (Akintunde no vex o). But really she was a great friend and remains one of the few ladies that are worth their weight in gold and more.

        Bajju Didam – My first Hausa friend. He practically took me as a brother in spite of the several differences and some people’s opposition (long story I’m not willing to share, yet). He was a life saver during the early days of my service year. There was no phone (I mean no network), no light and no money… Lol! This guy practically saved me from starving. How else could one stay in your mind for life… lol!

       Jimi Jegede – Sunky for life… You know how you just meet some people and you just click and it seems you’ve known each other for life? Well this is one of such… Barely three years of knowing yet his infectious laughter and intelligence is pure joy. He sings, plays the keyboard, speaks small Hausa, the tiniest of Yoruba (lol), all the things I wish for, except the last part that I dey try for. And above all, he patiently hears me out whenever I am on auto-talking. Lol!

       Oluwatosin Olukoya – we all need someone to understand us. At least when we ourselves begin to doubt. This is one guy that has survived all my fancies (you don’t want to try me). His listening ear has become to me a place of recourse. HP – Thanks for sticking out for me.

       Temitope Akinniyi: I can’t speak enough, to whoever is listening or reading as this case is, of this guy. Frail but strong. Little but mighty. So true that great things come in small packages. He was an angel in disguise. I still find it in adequate to express how much joy he brought in to my life. Five years gone, tomorrow, and yet still fresh memories like yesterday. Baba kekere, baby, May the Lord keep thy rest peaceful.

       Ugochukwu Asiegbu – The one person that serially tries my patience and gets away with it. I thought I was stubborn till this guy beat me hands down at who is who of stubbornness! Knowing what it feels like to be at the receiving end has helped me realize the hurt I cause some people. Don’t get your hopes too high o… I’m still a work in progress. Happy Birthday UML.

       Ayotunde Martins – Mighty Woman of valour. This is one person that got a huge dose of confidence right from above. I still remember the way she walked up to me, asked why I was just seating there and if I was enjoying myself? At a campus Holy Ghost service? When people where only get high on their on trips? She was sensitive enough to reach out to a seemingly bored soul? For her I can say mo so pe temi… Great friend! Happy Birthday AyoT!

       Edith Okhani: 1 of the most gifted persons I ever came across. There was no comparing her beans in the whole of LASU. She was 1 intelligent, brilliant & a stand by her friends’ kinda person. Middle of d night or early ‘momo’… and she sewed shege… though she never went to a sewing school. Edith just keep resting o cos when we tire for here and retire home, you would hear wen… lol!

Temitayo Modupe – the one guy who single handedly made my life unique. He remains one of the most committed and dedicated friend I’ve ever had. You know when they say you don’t value what you have till you loose em? Well at least he’s here on facebook. And though I never told him before …… (Lol) I guess now he knows.

        Damilola Adeoye – I leave this space for all who knw am to fill…..

       Adedayo Ajala & Mayokun Sanni (Chairman me!)– Gats to squeeze dem to together and dats cos dem two are simply fantastic. We all need someone that will always remember you when the worries of this world keep you from minding the major things in your life. Iyanu ti yin na a de o. Happy Birthday Chairman Mayokun… May your days be sweeter than you…lol! Hugz!

      Yewande Olugbile – Ok before some no-mind-them-business people begin to run them mouth, let me just confess that this chick is here because she is mouthed. My aburo ni o… But she’s a great person to flow with. Reads like mad, novels ni o. Most annoying recently was a list on facebook of 100 great books that less than 10%? Of the world’s people have read. She had read 16. Me? A Shameful 6. You want the list sent to you, just let me know. Lol!

       TemiTope Runsewe – I’m not writing anything but …..

       Banji Moronkeji – Mide remains the ‘shyest’ person I know. Yet for my sake, allow me my psycs, he tries the seemingly impossible. That enough makes me wanna fly. Lol! Funny thing is how much he watches out for his friends. A rare gem! Happy Birthday.

        Holuwashey-hun Hakinola Haramide Dawodu – I guess I remain my own best friend. If all of them fail, well they are only human, at least I got myself. And if you are wondering why The Big Bros, JESUS, ain’t on this list let me save you the head crunching calculations or meditations. It’s simply because He is my everything. All the times no one was there and even when I was in a crowd of laughing people and all inside of me was crying, my succor was Him.

To all of you that didn’t get listed he don’t mean …….. Nothing do us.

Growing up ...

It was impossible for him to believe that at sixteen his face was as smooth as or perhaps smoother than a baby’s behind. In spite of that which grew in the private region, which he of course could not show off, he had been subjected to series of humiliating experiences. Just because he was bare in the face of hair? Well that was before now.

There they were! A single strand in front and two close two his Adam’s apple. Again he wondered why they called it that since Eve also ate the forbidden apple and the evidence was not visible in the women folk. 

3 strands! Now he would nurse them like new born babies. 3 were definitely better than none.

Going seventeen he was not a small boy, in frame, neither was he short. 6ft 2 inches was no joke yet lack of beards made him look, at least he thought so, like a smalley. Things are going to change now.

‘Matthew’ he heard his mother call from the backyard. Getting up from in front of the mirror in his mother’s room, ‘ma’ he answered. 

‘Where is my phone that I asked you to bring, ehn?’ his mother enquired when he got to where she was seated under the shade in the backyard.

‘I’m coming, I forgot’ he answered going back to get the phone.

---

The next day, a Sunday, he was up before six am and ready for church earlier than usual. He sneaked into his mom’s room when she was in the bathroom, planted his behind on the seat and peered intently into the mirror. Yeah! They were still there. What the heck! He thought as he counted three extra strands, whistling. This was more than great.

‘Ibikunle are you drunk’ his mum’s voice came through from the bathroom. What is the meaning of that whistling?’

‘I’m sorry mom’ he replied getting up and heading out of the room. ‘I’ve gone o’ he said. ‘We’ll see in church’ closing the door behind him.

It is a beautiful day’ he said to himself, smiling broadly as he walked, as though on air, to church.

Today he would prove to them, at least his beards, the six strands would, that he was not a boy. Today he felt it in his bones, he was becoming a man. This was enough boost, like any other, for his self-confidence.

NB

Smalley – slang for small boy

Ehn – an interjection

Who is raising our children?

I wonder why we complain about the level of violence and deprivation in the society, when no one is checking the foundation. That little girl you leave alone locked up in the house with the DSTV and its many ‘fashion’ channels, your little boy that you buy a blackberry and other expensive gadgets for to fill in the void of your absence, the teenager who has no restriction on when to come home and where not to go to, your male young adult you never showed how to treat a lady and your young unmarried woman you were too busy to help train into becoming a lady. Well don’t get all touchy I am only just wondering.

 

Growing up in the 80’s was easy, at least for our parents. The distraction of the DSTV and cable was not bad. If you even had a coloured teevee you wouldn’t have much to watch. Tv’s resumed 4pm and shut down just a little after the clock strikes 12 in the night. You could only watch films on the VHS when they, parents or adults, are around. Else you would ‘chop’ some beating if they came home to find the VHS player warm. 

                                                                                       

That was then. 

Now? I don’t know where to start. The child is crying for attention so you put him in front of the tv to shut him up. He grows up and at 3 years old he is still watching the tv at 11pm. Back then you had to sneak and hide behind the settee to catch a glimpse of ‘space nighty-nighty-nine’ (if you didn’t grow up during the 80s you probably don’t know what this is about) which showed at about 10pm. (can't really remember :p)

Now? A teenager/young adult leaves his parents’ house and goes partying all night and comes back reeking of alcohol and the parents turn a blind eye. The Father, if he is even around, is too guilty to say anything, the mother too scared that the child may not love her anymore.

“Who in the name of ‘paying for the absence in the life of his or her son’ buys him a blackberry phone that allows him unrestricted access to several off limit sites, even to ‘wise’ adults, and expensive games?" And then pay heavily for home teachers and then still wonder why the child is not doing well with school work.  Duh! 

Well since I am only just wondering I really don’t have to give a concluding remark on the issue. I would rather like to end with Chaz B’s (Inspiration Fm) extract from the bible – guard your heart with all diligence for out of it flows the issues of life.  And ask you "who is raising your child?"