Let it go...

And hear me when I tell you this!
When people can walk away from you: let them walk.
I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. The bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the unwilling dead..
You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over.
Let me tell you something.. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye.. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes a bit of sweat I will appreciate it more. Stop begging people to stay. Let them go!! If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to......
LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ........ LET IT GO!!!
If someone has angered you. LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge..... LET IT GO!!!
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction... LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents .....LET IT GO!!!
If you! have a bad attitude.... ...LET IT GO!!!
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better......LET IT GO!!!
If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him..........LET IT GO!!!
If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship. .... LET IT GO!!!
If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves.. ....LET IT GO!!!
If you're feeling depressed and stressed...........LET IT GO!!!
If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying 'take your hands off of it,'then you need to.......LET IT GO!!!


T. D. Jakes
----


Need I say more?  Ciao!

What reason is there to love?

Let me begin with these words that hit me like a bullet the very first time that I saw them put together in the order to make this very interesting and yet complex thought.

One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving. - Paulo Coelho

No wonder I find it difficult to specifically describe why I love the way I do. For love, as simple as the word may appear, remains far more complex, than any other found in the English lexicon. I know that a lot will be 'ooohing' and 'aaahing' right now; well I stand to be corrected. I will try to explain myself in a short while.

Love is one emotion that people have found especially difficult to articulate. You may want to ask why... For many it is an adverb, where they use the word to answer questions such as why did you that?’ or ‘why are you doing this?’ rather than a verb – a word that shows expression of action.

Ask a youngster what it means to love and you would get all manners of definition that would want to make you laugh, only that you don't want to make them uncomfortable.  Imagine someone saying that love is a feeling of liking someone else. And I am like okay I agree what else and he goes ‘wanting to be with that person’. What else I probe further  and all I hear are the ‘nice nice’ things that a lot look forward to in a relationship such that when something contrary to that shows up, they up and quit. Rubbish! <I learnt this the hard way>

But is it only youngsters that fail this litmus when it comes to gauging or expressing what love is? You wish!

Married couples, who should know, sometimes find it difficult to explain or express love even in its most basic form. Ask a husband and you would get the duties of what his wife should do for him and the children as the definition of what love is. Ask the wife and she would define it with relation to what the husband should do for her and her children.

So many warped mindsets about what it is and what it is not that trying to reshape the thought pattern is a mere work in futility... Okay maybe not but then it is a very daunting task. And I confess it is none of my business here to try and proffer solutions to what hails your relationship, I am continuously working on mine.

But I don’t go looking for love in the wrong place. There is only one place to find it; and that is in God. I have no apologies. This is what I believe. His love in my heart makes it easy and natural to love myself and love her just the way I love myself. Hmmmm (Please stop rolling those eyes...).

I could go on and be with her and be quiet, loving her laugh, her face, her body, her mind, everything about her and still more are reasons for loving her. Good and justifiable reasons, but not all there is to love. The reason is so intangible the moment I try to articulate it, I stutter and then I am back at the definition that tries to explain from the point of those who need to see to believe.

How do I know?  Good question... my answer is this ‘fall in love and let me know if the physical is all there is to it’.

Ciao!

Much ado about Valentine's day

When @sheyhunsays (his twitter handle) asked me to write this piece, I felt *honoured much*... But that was until I realised I didn't exactly have a topic to write on so I have decided to go with the flow and write about love seeing as its the *month of love* and all...Happy reading!

   

Personally, I think Valentine's day is over-rated and I don't get why people decide to show love on 1 day out of the 365 days of the year... I do not agree with the idea that love or its expression should be an annual thing either... However, this opinion might be based on the fact that on more occasions than one, I have had to be a spectator whose only job is to uhhh and ahhh over the gifts of others and that's not a particularly good feeling...

But then again love is too great a gift to be left uncelebrated... It's very easy to take people (particularly the ones we care about) for granted because we expect them to be there no matter what... Sadly, things do not always work out that way (you know what they say bout not knowing what you've got till you lose it....)The key therefore is finding a balance - Not ignoring the one(s) we love until Valentine's day is round the corner and not overdoing it on that day...

Hope you all have fun this Valentine's day...And if you are riding solo (like I am), do not give in to the *inevitable intimidation* that you will feel from all the love and affection around you...
   

Peace and Love...
   @Yewwy

----

I decided to leave it just the way she sent it except for some minor editing. She's one cousin in whom I am well pleased. She couldn't even come up with a topic, so the topic is my idea. Sounds nice though, even if I say so myself. 

Now before you start criticizing, it is her opinion (though I share some of the sentiments). If you have a divergent one do write in and I will let you have your say... *wink*

Enough said. Have yourself a most fabulous Vals day... 

P.S

Happy Vals day P...

How do I see?

Whoa! I was going to continue my heart pour of emotions, but two things happened, no three. First my cousin, the one I love dearly, felt I was just not being nice. She wondered, which would have been okay if she kept it to herself, why I was intent on making people with no one making any ado over them with love, miserable. Ouch! That hurt seriously, but she is my beloved. Secondly, P (do you always have to wonder who this is?) forgave me my error (Thank you). And thirdly, I chanced upon a blog, The Struggling Christian, and it 'pinged' in my heart, again, that sometimes it is not all about us; me, in this case.

I guess that really is the reason this season is celebrated, but then we all have taken it so personal that all we think about is 'how much value am I going to get out of this relationship?' Why do we not ask anymore 'what am I going to give to this relationship to make sure it does not become a drag?' 

Just last night I was blackberry chatting with my brother, who had found himself in a tight spot due to no fault of his, and I had tried to say it to him be calm, but it came out 'be matured'. Well he insisted I had insulted him. I was like mister this is what I was trying to pass across and I asked him to help me know how it was that the simple words had translated to an insult. 'Forget' he said. Well I dropped the issue because I am not very good with being tactful with my words, or actions. But then I realized that even though my intentions were noble, the expression was the exact opposite. Now what if it had been someone else with a lot less understanding of the person who I was? All I would have succeeded in doing would be to alienate that person, rather than providing succour, the original intention.

So now, much more than I had previously done, I have to stay in the place of continuous empathy. I do not think that alone this would be easy or achievable, but then I have a support system that encourages me to be all that I can; including seeing life not just from my end of the telescope.

---

I pause so you can go take in some of what she has to say. This is a most unsolicited gesture from me; I don’t even know who she is. I got carried away by the bluntness of the stories which didn’t take away the message she wanted to pass across.

Thank you for reading and I hope you look forward to a lovely weekend...

What it takes...

This is turning out to be one very lousy day. Went to sleep last night feeling on top of the world and now I don't even know how it went from smoking hot to fire out. A hot slap would have worked if I thought it was a dream. But it is not and the knot at the base of my stomach just won't loosen. Geez this my mouth. But I am not telling this story so .... I hope you make sense out of this, my frame of mind is just not it... I long to have my muse (love) back.

Okay so it does take a lot of getting used to; not just you by yourself, but you and her and the rest of the world, interacting on one level or the other. How do you cope when your commitment to stay together is put to several overwhelming test? How do you deal with the issues you never even thought were possible but is now staring you in the face? Ooo it is rather much easier to say this or that now when you don't see any storm in the horizon. Just wait a bit till when those issues come, then let me know what you think and how you feel...

Over the years I have seen couples not being able to give it what it takes. I mean it is all about give and take, a 50/50 kinda loving, even though I think a 90/90 kind is possible. Yet it often deeps to as low as 60/40, 80/20 and the 'I don't care if he/she is alive or dead' kind of love. Okay so that is not love I agree but they live together at least under the same roof. They do talk when they have to, mostly about the children. That is if they even do that. I have a story I would share soon. True to life for those of us who thought that some kind of experiences where just the imaginations of those who enthralled us with such. Sorry I digress.

And so I would think why is it so difficult to move beyond the mistake and be reconciled to one's love? But it always is easy to see from one side more clearly than from the other side. The one who is hurt feels every bite of the pain. The one who hurt finds it difficult to forgive himself. So the stalemate... 

So what happened to the love? Now why are you looking at me like that like I have all the answers. 

I am asking myself what it takes to stoke up the love? You may want to know what it cost to make it burn eternally like when it first began? I am asking myself, truthfully, why I didn't think about how those words would translate to you when I said them? 

Okay so it takes a lot more to keep a relationship than just the wishing for it to be stable. I still do not know all what it takes to love you the way you deserve to be loved, but I know one thing not to ever do again. Now I see it is about growing in to each other. 

What it takes..., do you know?

My Sweetest...

A heart, like yours, shaped from gold

I could ask for nothing more

Than to have and hold you close to me

That heart beating next to mine

And when you laugh about my cheeks

I think of when yours will rub against it

When there’ll be no distance except

When you lift your eyes to gaze into mine

I think it a mystery how I could fall for you

Without seeing you

Or knowing you, except

The little I had heard of you

I still wonder why you choose to talk to me

Why you would even give me a chance

Even when your heart was filled with ache

I still got a little space to build

This past few months have been most illuminating

How one can come in and affect me

From the way I talk, to the way I walk, to the way I think;

Still amazed how you unwittingly change me

I could talk about you all day

And spend all night talking with you

For in you I’ve found a precious jewel

A friend of inestimable value

-----

Okay for those of you who like to look for what is not missing, don't go asking me who it is that this is for or about who it is. She knows. 

'How?' Because I already sent it to her weeks ago. 

'How do we know she is real?' Do you have to? 

'Ha I see another conjecture of your wild imaginations right?' No not.

'Why are you being sneaky bout it?' Am I?

'So when do we meet her' Hmmm you got me there. 

'Why?' *Laughing Heartily* she knows

'Okay, I give up. You are simply incorrigible.' You think so?

'I know so' *Chuckling* 

To choose to love

To choose to love is to choose to live

Life is too short to live otherwise

For when it comes to it

We only care how much love you showed

Your smile that refuses to brighten up our day

Your touch that refuses to smooth our tears away

You care that came only when we were away

Tell us loudly, the measure of your love.

People come and people go

What they leave in our lives is what they sow;

Those that stay only a while

Yet have built mansions of love in our hearts

Are far better than the Methuselahs who came

And make our lives castle of selfish aims

Life is short, even though you think not

And spend the one you have chasing the wind

The time comes faster than you imaginged

When all your striving is left behind

To the one that know not how it began

I sit here, pondering

What is this life really about?

To live in love tell one’s last breathe

Living in hearts of men, a sold deposit of love...

Love is in the air..

Hic! I am already wishing that I didn't have to start this but....

Okay so we have entered into a new month, we are so crazy about things like that, and better news is the fact that the lover's day is soon to be upon us. Ouch for you if you don't have anyone to spend it with.

I will be making serious effort to put here my thoughts daily for the duration of this month. Thank heavens it has proven over and over to be the shortest counting days amongst the months of the year. The fact that people begin to talk and dream 14th February has come to be for me a serious engaging point and thus the real reason behind this drudging into the recess of my mind to construct some tales of what be and what be not.

I lost interest in having one day of the year as one to celebrate love because to me that was a long time to wait to show appreciation to the one whom I was in love with. Well, the afore said would have been entirely true except that I never had anyone I wanted to share that special one day in the year with. *nmh*

I remember a friend ordering two cakes and having them delivered with flowers to the lady he was dating then. I felt it was so romantic, I almost died of grief and loneliness because I did not have anyone to share the moments with. But that moment passed and even several, and I am yet here. The only difference is that at this particular point I have stumbled upon love and fallen in it.

Well this is just the start... I will be taking you on an adventure into the minds that love. Don't quiz me about anything. If you are in doubt about the love-ability of your heart, see the doctor.

By the way, happy planning. lol


nmh - Only one heart knows what this means...