Three guys and me

So it was that t-boy came to visit and the day he was to go back, which was just one day after he got here, I asked him when he was leaving because at this time we were too far away from his home for him to return that night. So of course it was a given that he would be staying one more night. Somehow he insinuated not even ready to go home. And one way or the other he got an extended stay; one week.

Wednesday of that same week Hugo called, he was going to come in on Thursday or Friday he said. Okay I replied. The coming was overdue. He came in on Friday.

As if it was a planned meet, my best pal called and said he was coming in on Friday. Phew! All of a sudden my place was becoming the Mecca to be at. Yeepi! I exclaimed, about time you came to your senses. I picked Bos up just opposite the 'Tantis' at Ogba at about to six pm on Friday.

This is where the story begins.

The story goes on from there, to where I get home and find the main gate unlocked and after a few cries and no response I grew agitated; where in the world is t-boy? He knew better than to leave my gate unlocked. Nigeria gives you very many reasons to be paranoid; this is fallout of the situation prevalent in the country.

Anyways I shouted some more and he finally came to the window, "I am coming" he said. Phew! What a relief.

So I was let in, with Bos remember, and even before I got out of the car Tolulope, that is t-boy started bemoaning how being home all day had not been great. Power had been out twelve hours. I could imagine his headache since it was just as we drove in that power was restored. "Pele" was all I could say.

I went upstairs to check up on Hugo. Everyone calls him my son. Lolz. Well he really is my first son. We share a bond that cannot be explained, #period. He was still sleeping in spite of my raucous. Ugochukwu I called out to him. He rolled over looked at me rolled his eyes as if to say finally, and dug his head back in the pillow. Lailai I wasn’t going to take that, a proper greeting was required. But this guy is something else. Let me keep that to myself. So I started tickling him and that worked. Lolz. He was tired from over sleeping and not having eaten. "Where you waiting for me to come and cook?" I asked. "Yes na" he responded. "Heyah" was my reply. "You obviously were not really so hungry else you would have eaten" I continued.

Anyway we fixed food, ate and they resumed playing some sort of soccer game. I wasn’t interested and anyway I had a function the following day so it was sleep for me.

Saturday

Left home early. I had to pick ma and pa up at their place and then resume the journey to some 100 and something kilometers to a close family friend's wedding. Got back home rather late. Today they didn’t wait for me to come prepare food. Of cause they had been home all day so they had done brunch and dinner. Well I was too tired to do much. A few gisting and straight to bed. Tomorrow is work. Yes I know it is a Sunday but work had to go on.

Sunday

I left home rather early. I had business to attend to. It was a concert we were organising and sometime during the day the guys joined me at the venue. Sharp guys they were. They didn’t eat before leaving home and knew there was no way they would say that to me and we wouldn’t go food searching. Ended up breaking the bank for them to eat. At least they appreciated it. That is enough compensation.

The programme was a huge success, even if I say so. We got home just a few minutes before midnight. Funny thing is the guys that were already sleeping in the car, got home and straight away it was back to the game for them. I have to learn this soccer thing else I would always be left out.

So for me it was sleep time. Okay and Hugo too.

Monday

I felt that after yesterday's very full day I would be sleeping till about midday. Nope I was up by 8am. That was pretty early considering that I slept rather late, about 2.30am, and work the day before. Anyways when I arose Hugo was already awake. I had chosen to sleep on the floor in the parlour so they could share the bed. Ooo it is a very big bed, queen sized. He was there on the bed wide awake tweeting away. T-boy didn’t get up until an hour and a half later. And Bos, some three hours after t-boy did. Both of them had spent the better part of the night playing soccer on the computer. I am sure they probably didn’t sleep till somewhere around 4 a.m.

Well I could go on and on and give you minute by minute account of how the day was spent but no. It was bad enough they were leaving, then they decided to leave at the same time. Bos back to his aunt's place, Tolulope for home and Ugochukwu for school. The tea break was over. My crib went from being a ten on bubbly, on a scale of one to ten, to a minus two in just about the time it took to step over the porch.

That's it. That's all I am saying. Even as I look forward to the Christmas season with a grateful heart Hope to have a crib full. Hmmm. I guess I should also look out for their leaving too.

He Cares!

He sits beside me and listens,

Listening ever so intently

I sit and brood

My mind turmoiled by the worries of life

I mouth my complains

My voice giving it the expression of my heart

He looks at me and sees,

Seeing ever so clearly

I stand and begin to pace

My steps betraying my emotions

I weep hot tears, sobbing

My face a portrait of despondency

He hears me and knows

Knowing always my thoughts

I sit and fold up myself

Being wrapped in his loving arms

I let go and let God;

He understands my human frailties

Blast from the past - 2008

The following were posts to my facebook page from the 6 day tothe 30th day of November 2008. I kept it and still find it a refreshing read. Hope you do too.
----


I’m dedicating the remainder of da month to friends who one way or the other touched and shaped my life. Some have gone on home before time, some are somewhere around here. Well the bottom-line of my next twenty something days of revelation (hic!) ---- Don’t let the things that matter the most be at the mercy of things that matter the least.


The list is in no particular order. But if ya name no show ….(lol!)


Olufunso Odunukan, Md – Aspiring Prof of community medicine, Harvard alumni (sebi na so?) and the most ‘iwecious’ person I know. Baba Ijebu for you. I was afraid that he was going to follow through with the threat of dumping Med for MBA! But we thank God Lol!

        Damola Sogunro – Margret Thatcher of LASU (lol!). The first woman, girl, female (all na the same) to tell me to shove my opinions and advice to where they are needed. I used to think I was weird till I met her (lol!). But really you don’t want to go into any fight without someone like her in your corner. I guess getting old as put out the fire in her Lol. Damsog!

       Olumide Awoniran – I still can’t remember what was the cause of that fight in Jss3… but it wrecked a great friendship. Foolish pride almost cost me this one. For what it’s worth, sorry for the wahala. I guess I’m still a fighter but I’ve learnt to say sorry.

       Abiola Awosanya – It is so difficult to describe someone who is almost charming to a fault (not to me sha o). An extraordinary lady with a high sense of duty and dedication to the things that matter. Daddy’s gal (I guess I’m looking for a fight… e no matter bring it on. Lol)

   

        Adebisi olatunde – This one, if I had to start ‘adjectivicing’ her, I bet FB will yank me off for trying to over use the allotted space. My aburo,  My friend – one person that I can really be myself with without the fear of hearing the story somewhere else or catching it on the evening news. But you don’t wanna be around her when she wanna yab. Lol! Even the oyinbos don enter one chance with her… She’s teaching them the omo naija style. Lol!

       Olutayo Ajibola – In the short time that I’ve come to know this guy, his commitment to me to say the least is humbliying. I never thought that one day someone would think so highly of me in spite of some things that I’m not talking about here, at least not now. Sir, you do me well.

       Adebisi Adegoke – the most ambitious guy I know. Very determined, tenacious and in spite of you (whoever you be) he grinds on. It was at his place that I got introduced to Asun (sorry I no know the English for am… but na meat wey dem mix with pepper on top of fire). And it was with him that my cloak of pride finally got torn. O my... I remember the free food at FH. Lol! (This guy’s gonna kill me if he hears about this. Lol)

       STV Adegbite: Ok for all you who know him then you must be oooing by now. OYO! I always used to think that all them ministers of God (that’s what they all like to be called) were all so full of S**t! Mostly living outside of reality like ……, ok let me keep that to myself. Saying something on the stage (pulpit) and doing something else off the stage. Good actors! Until I met this guy and of course P.P (Pastor Paul) and those other two pastors with beautiful better half’s at HoTR.

       Back to STV, I practically adopted them (His family) and it’s not unusual to hear me call him by the name of his son rather than the appellation that MOG like so darn much. Well if you think he’s perfect, you are half insane…lol! But watching him I’ve learnt a few things from being your very best both on and off the stage

      Adeleke Adeyemi: This guy was everything I was not. Humble, Highly intelligent, Great conversationalist, 1st Class student and most impressive of all he was a one of a kind keyboardist. If you know me you know how it ‘shaks’ me that I can’t play the piano. Whenever he was around and there was a keyboard, I was urging him on. It was such a delight watching and listening to him play. I guess you are playing with the angels up there now. Just keep practicing o.

       Damilola Awotana – O my after almost sixteen years I remember vividly one act of kindness shown me by this guy and that has earned my respect for life. I’m so sure he won’t remember but I don’t forget good done me. That remains an inspiration for me to give of myself as much as I can.

       Omotayo Bakare – My very first girl friend (?). I bet loads of people are dying to know you now. Lol. That was way in primary school. How she managed to survive my eccentricity and remain who she was, still a stunner (Akintunde no vex o). But really she was a great friend and remains one of the few ladies that are worth their weight in gold and more.

        Bajju Didam – My first Hausa friend. He practically took me as a brother in spite of the several differences and some people’s opposition (long story I’m not willing to share, yet). He was a life saver during the early days of my service year. There was no phone (I mean no network), no light and no money… Lol! This guy practically saved me from starving. How else could one stay in your mind for life… lol!

       Jimi Jegede – Sunky for life… You know how you just meet some people and you just click and it seems you’ve known each other for life? Well this is one of such… Barely three years of knowing yet his infectious laughter and intelligence is pure joy. He sings, plays the keyboard, speaks small Hausa, the tiniest of Yoruba (lol), all the things I wish for, except the last part that I dey try for. And above all, he patiently hears me out whenever I am on auto-talking. Lol!

       Oluwatosin Olukoya – we all need someone to understand us. At least when we ourselves begin to doubt. This is one guy that has survived all my fancies (you don’t want to try me). His listening ear has become to me a place of recourse. HP – Thanks for sticking out for me.

       Temitope Akinniyi: I can’t speak enough, to whoever is listening or reading as this case is, of this guy. Frail but strong. Little but mighty. So true that great things come in small packages. He was an angel in disguise. I still find it in adequate to express how much joy he brought in to my life. Five years gone, tomorrow, and yet still fresh memories like yesterday. Baba kekere, baby, May the Lord keep thy rest peaceful.

       Ugochukwu Asiegbu – The one person that serially tries my patience and gets away with it. I thought I was stubborn till this guy beat me hands down at who is who of stubbornness! Knowing what it feels like to be at the receiving end has helped me realize the hurt I cause some people. Don’t get your hopes too high o… I’m still a work in progress. Happy Birthday UML.

       Ayotunde Martins – Mighty Woman of valour. This is one person that got a huge dose of confidence right from above. I still remember the way she walked up to me, asked why I was just seating there and if I was enjoying myself? At a campus Holy Ghost service? When people where only get high on their on trips? She was sensitive enough to reach out to a seemingly bored soul? For her I can say mo so pe temi… Great friend! Happy Birthday AyoT!

       Edith Okhani: 1 of the most gifted persons I ever came across. There was no comparing her beans in the whole of LASU. She was 1 intelligent, brilliant & a stand by her friends’ kinda person. Middle of d night or early ‘momo’… and she sewed shege… though she never went to a sewing school. Edith just keep resting o cos when we tire for here and retire home, you would hear wen… lol!

Temitayo Modupe – the one guy who single handedly made my life unique. He remains one of the most committed and dedicated friend I’ve ever had. You know when they say you don’t value what you have till you loose em? Well at least he’s here on facebook. And though I never told him before …… (Lol) I guess now he knows.

        Damilola Adeoye – I leave this space for all who knw am to fill…..

       Adedayo Ajala & Mayokun Sanni (Chairman me!)– Gats to squeeze dem to together and dats cos dem two are simply fantastic. We all need someone that will always remember you when the worries of this world keep you from minding the major things in your life. Iyanu ti yin na a de o. Happy Birthday Chairman Mayokun… May your days be sweeter than you…lol! Hugz!

      Yewande Olugbile – Ok before some no-mind-them-business people begin to run them mouth, let me just confess that this chick is here because she is mouthed. My aburo ni o… But she’s a great person to flow with. Reads like mad, novels ni o. Most annoying recently was a list on facebook of 100 great books that less than 10%? Of the world’s people have read. She had read 16. Me? A Shameful 6. You want the list sent to you, just let me know. Lol!

       TemiTope Runsewe – I’m not writing anything but …..

       Banji Moronkeji – Mide remains the ‘shyest’ person I know. Yet for my sake, allow me my psycs, he tries the seemingly impossible. That enough makes me wanna fly. Lol! Funny thing is how much he watches out for his friends. A rare gem! Happy Birthday.

        Holuwashey-hun Hakinola Haramide Dawodu – I guess I remain my own best friend. If all of them fail, well they are only human, at least I got myself. And if you are wondering why The Big Bros, JESUS, ain’t on this list let me save you the head crunching calculations or meditations. It’s simply because He is my everything. All the times no one was there and even when I was in a crowd of laughing people and all inside of me was crying, my succor was Him.

To all of you that didn’t get listed he don’t mean …….. Nothing do us.

Growing up ...

It was impossible for him to believe that at sixteen his face was as smooth as or perhaps smoother than a baby’s behind. In spite of that which grew in the private region, which he of course could not show off, he had been subjected to series of humiliating experiences. Just because he was bare in the face of hair? Well that was before now.

There they were! A single strand in front and two close two his Adam’s apple. Again he wondered why they called it that since Eve also ate the forbidden apple and the evidence was not visible in the women folk. 

3 strands! Now he would nurse them like new born babies. 3 were definitely better than none.

Going seventeen he was not a small boy, in frame, neither was he short. 6ft 2 inches was no joke yet lack of beards made him look, at least he thought so, like a smalley. Things are going to change now.

‘Matthew’ he heard his mother call from the backyard. Getting up from in front of the mirror in his mother’s room, ‘ma’ he answered. 

‘Where is my phone that I asked you to bring, ehn?’ his mother enquired when he got to where she was seated under the shade in the backyard.

‘I’m coming, I forgot’ he answered going back to get the phone.

---

The next day, a Sunday, he was up before six am and ready for church earlier than usual. He sneaked into his mom’s room when she was in the bathroom, planted his behind on the seat and peered intently into the mirror. Yeah! They were still there. What the heck! He thought as he counted three extra strands, whistling. This was more than great.

‘Ibikunle are you drunk’ his mum’s voice came through from the bathroom. What is the meaning of that whistling?’

‘I’m sorry mom’ he replied getting up and heading out of the room. ‘I’ve gone o’ he said. ‘We’ll see in church’ closing the door behind him.

It is a beautiful day’ he said to himself, smiling broadly as he walked, as though on air, to church.

Today he would prove to them, at least his beards, the six strands would, that he was not a boy. Today he felt it in his bones, he was becoming a man. This was enough boost, like any other, for his self-confidence.

NB

Smalley – slang for small boy

Ehn – an interjection

Who is raising our children?

I wonder why we complain about the level of violence and deprivation in the society, when no one is checking the foundation. That little girl you leave alone locked up in the house with the DSTV and its many ‘fashion’ channels, your little boy that you buy a blackberry and other expensive gadgets for to fill in the void of your absence, the teenager who has no restriction on when to come home and where not to go to, your male young adult you never showed how to treat a lady and your young unmarried woman you were too busy to help train into becoming a lady. Well don’t get all touchy I am only just wondering.

 

Growing up in the 80’s was easy, at least for our parents. The distraction of the DSTV and cable was not bad. If you even had a coloured teevee you wouldn’t have much to watch. Tv’s resumed 4pm and shut down just a little after the clock strikes 12 in the night. You could only watch films on the VHS when they, parents or adults, are around. Else you would ‘chop’ some beating if they came home to find the VHS player warm. 

                                                                                       

That was then. 

Now? I don’t know where to start. The child is crying for attention so you put him in front of the tv to shut him up. He grows up and at 3 years old he is still watching the tv at 11pm. Back then you had to sneak and hide behind the settee to catch a glimpse of ‘space nighty-nighty-nine’ (if you didn’t grow up during the 80s you probably don’t know what this is about) which showed at about 10pm. (can't really remember :p)

Now? A teenager/young adult leaves his parents’ house and goes partying all night and comes back reeking of alcohol and the parents turn a blind eye. The Father, if he is even around, is too guilty to say anything, the mother too scared that the child may not love her anymore.

“Who in the name of ‘paying for the absence in the life of his or her son’ buys him a blackberry phone that allows him unrestricted access to several off limit sites, even to ‘wise’ adults, and expensive games?" And then pay heavily for home teachers and then still wonder why the child is not doing well with school work.  Duh! 

Well since I am only just wondering I really don’t have to give a concluding remark on the issue. I would rather like to end with Chaz B’s (Inspiration Fm) extract from the bible – guard your heart with all diligence for out of it flows the issues of life.  And ask you "who is raising your child?"

Marriage: the big deal

I guess it is the season I am in that is why all I hear people speak about is marriage. And really the things I hear are absolutely incredible even as unbelievable as some of them sound.

For a yet to be married guy like me too much of these stories are tending towards the bizzare. A young wife found stabbed to death by her husband. A young man married for about 7 years sunddenly lands in hospital because his wife tried to get him out of the way; there was someone already waiting to marry her.

And there's the woman married for almost twenty years and she only enjoyed the first 6 months of the marriage! That is the 'craziest' thing I have heard about marriage in a long time. How can you be in a marriage where there is no intimacy? No passion? Geez.. I almost feel like cursing. But then I have never been married so what are the issues that could have caused this failed marriage. Oo yes it is a failed one since all they share is the same roof and ok the same surname.


For a marriage to succeed the two parties to the contract must agree on three levels spiritual, emotional and physical. A dearth in any, even one will ultimately lead to the death of that union. For what is a spiritual marriage without passion (physical)? What is a passionate marriage without the heart (emotional)?

None of these can be left to the fates... Absolute nonsense to think such. Maybe again I am talking off my head. One thing I know however is each and every requires commitment and a heart that puts the other before self.

Just my thoughts...

Haters!

A hater is someone who is jealous and envious and spends all their time trying to make you look small so they can look tall.
 
They are very negative people to say the least.  Nothing is ever good enough!
             
When you make your mark,  you will always attract some haters...
             
That's why you have to be careful with whom you share your blessings and your dreams, because some folk can't handle seeing you blessed....

It's dangerous to be like somebody else... If God wanted you to be like somebody else,  He would have given you what He gave them!  Right?

You never know what people have gone through to get what they have...
 
The problem I have with haters is that they see my glory,  but they don't know my story...
 
If the grass  looks  greener on the other side of the fence,  you can rest assured that the water bill is higher there too!
 
We've all got some haters among us!
             
Some people envy you because you can:
       a) Have a relationship with God
       b) Light up a room when you walk in
       c) Start your own business
       d) Tell a man / woman to hit the curb (if he / she isn't about the right thing)
       e) Raise your children without both parents being in the home
             
Haters can't stand to see you happy.

Haters will never want to see you succeed.

Most of our haters are people who are supposed to be on our side.
         
How do you handle your undercover haters?

You can handle these haters by:
             1. Knowing who you are & who your true friends are
                *(VERY IMPORTANT!!)
             
             2. Having a purpose to your life: Purpose does not
                 mean having a job. You can have a job and still be
                 unfulfilled.
             
A purpose is having a clear sense of what God has called you to be. Your purpose is not defined by what others think about you.

             3. By remembering what you have is by divine
                 prerogative and not human manipulation.
 
Fulfill your dreams!  You only have one life to live...when its your time to leave this earth, you 'want' to be able to say, 'I've lived my life and fulfilled 'my' dreams,... Now I'm ready to go HOME!
             
When God gives you favor, you can tell your haters, 'Don't look at me...Look at Who is in charge of me....'
             

Just pray for them, that their life can be as fulfilled as yours! Watch out for Haters... BUT most of all don't become a HATER!
     

Maya Angelou

That's my baby!

Now I am smiling
And it is easy to tell that something is tickling
It is easy to tell it is something nice
The grin on my face is almost stupid
But who cares

I am thinking about you
Loved to hear from you this morning
Loved the way my phone called out your name
It was music in my hears
Three days is too long
Too long not to hear from you
But then who cares

Hectic day at work
Changing places
Things upside down
Everyone's busy
But I am not bothered
Absolutely in another world
In my own world
Just me with my thoughts of you
But still who cares

Me me me
Don't even think about it
Don't even go that road and ask me why?
I love my baby
And I love the loving thoughts, the smile
and the way it makes me feel
When it comes to my baby.

My baby?
That's you...

Emotions...

Emotions riding high...
Tilting, falling, oh

Whispers of sudden gloom
Filling the air, choking
Like the smell of smouldering iron
Yes of acid on metal...

The pain, the shame
Sharp and lasting
Like piercing to the heart
Leaving alive, just barely

And yet she lives,
Scared but alive
Like a damaged good
Only more valuable

The senses awakened
Traumatized and fragile but still with life

Hot tears stream down the cheeks
Wetting the parched facial skin

And the heart?
A mosaic of a bittersweet life!

Just a little thought

It was yet another market day
None like had ever been my way
Been waiting for it quite sometime
Now that it was, it seemed the right place to be.

May I ask, sir, what you want?
A voice, almost a whisper came up to me
I turned with obvious relief Only to find a cripple
A lad, I was sure, not more than ten

"Nothing you know anything about"
My pride was hurt, what did he know
To speak to me.
Me!

Now to him I spoke "If you really must know it's .....
It's none of your business"
And turned aside, moving away.

I was now upset
Tired, really fagged out
Three and a half hours burnt roaming the market
And still in search of it

"Ah! It's you again sir
Still looking for it?"
The little cripple, creeping up asked
With disbelief written all over his face

I was the man, he was but a boy
Yet he made me feel So nervous just standing by him
"I fail to see how that bothers you"
Was my reply, with enough venom to choke a snake

But now I looked at him
Straight into his eyes
And caught a glimpse into his soul
Written there was pain beyond his years

He tore my heart then as he smiled
His face creased up in heavenly delight
It took my mind away from me
Away from my selfish thoughts

I had found more than I bargained for
A body of pain filled with joy
And love to give away.

Alone

Lying, thinking last night
How to find my soul a home
Where water is not thirsty
And bread loaf is not stone
I came up with one thing
And I don't believe I'm wrong
That nobody,
But nobody Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.

There are some millionaires
With money they can't use
Their wives run round like banshees
Their children sing the blues
They've got expensive doctors
To cure their hearts of stone.
But nobody
No, nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.
Now if you listen closely
I'll tell you what I know
Storm clouds are gathering
The wind is gonna blow
The race of man is suffering
And I can hear the moan,
'Cause nobody,
But nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Maya Angelou

 

************

Another lovely poem by this woman. She writes as though she sees through the casing (the body) to the soul.

Snapshot!

I took him from my father and though he was reluctant at first but the moment he was in my arms he snuggled in quiet comfortably that I felt the longings for fatherhood.

I lifted him higher and almost placed him across my neck but changed my mind at the last minute. Brought him back down and made him stand on the arm rest of the sofa. And whilst I supported his bum with my hand I pulled away rather fast like I had been stung because his trainer pant felt rather soft. Yes he had done the do-do in the pant and I couldn't believe that no one had smelt it.

Next thing was me yelling that he had done the mighty number two in his pants and where was his mother. Of course I knew she wasn't in but I needed someone to do the cleaning and not me. It was bad enough that I had caught the smell of it on my palm, but my mind just wasn't in the accepting mood for a whole lot more than that.

Pa took him from me and after a long few minutes he came out from 'do-do' cleaning smelling fresh and then I wanted him back.

Got me thinking, yet again; how do men deal with helping their wives with such issues in the home? Whose job is it to change the diapers, cook the meals, help with the children's homework, and administer discipline and a whole lot that goes into raising good children?

Hmm...

By the way, the baby's not mine. But I won't mind him being mine cause he is so cute. *ehehe*  

About two days after the above incidence, a friend lost the baby born a day before. That was really a very depressing and devastating story. I just couldn't believe it initially but it was the brother to the wife who broke the news to me. And then I was faced with the dilemma of calling or paying them a condolence visit. But how do you call one who lost the first baby on the phone to empathize with them on the passing of a child that they had waited at least nine months for? A child that had been bathed, dressed, feed, diaper changed long before its expiration period in the womb? A child already named and a woman already being called a mother simply due to a protrusion that carried another life and signified stepping unto another level?

I really can't imagine the agony of their hearts. Empathizing no matter how much, I would never be able to understand the loss of a bundle that great expectation had been built upon.

I often ponder about the absurdities of this life. The things we take for granted and then we loose them and then wish we had them? I really can't just begin to describe.

An Oliver Twist Tale

The night is done
And daylight streams into the room
Our hopes, our desires, our emotions
Are stirred, with purpose, as the dawn breaks through

My heart beats like the drums at warfare
A rhythmic pattern that spoke louder than words
Commanding the troops this way and that way
Allowing no retreats or surrender

Words are always useless when it comes to the issues of the heart
No matter how nicely coated and eloquently delivered

I have tried and I keep trying
To let you know how I feel
But I understand now more than before
How it only makes sense when you feel the same

Some things can't be rushed
Like marching in time to the brigade band
And a few more things we can't do without
Like the air we breathe to keep alive

I know you don't believe in fairy tales
Else I would want to be your knight in shining armour
But i want to be 'Oliver twist'
And ask for more of you

to the love of my life...
Adepeju Olaitan

A Dripping Mouth

Yet he speaks a deluge of words
Fumbling at times, yet not pausing
Racing, so it seems
To the beginning of another from there

And yet the others wonder
The truth, even the semblance of it
For in the multitude of words
Untruth is wont to abound

But yet he propounds;
Theory heaped on theory
Of fallacious and incomprehensible tales
Leaving the others' ears filled with jargons

And yet they pretend; feigning interest
Till the ears become achey
And with stylish gymnastic display they leave
Now he is left alone, doing dialogue by himself

I’m Not Christ

There we were standing in a small Mexican airport while we waited for our bags to come out. I overheard a conversation between an English woman trying to speak to an airport official about her lost bag. Having taken several years of Spanish, I went over and offered assistance to the woman looking for her bag. While we loaded our own bags and headed to the hotel I realised something astonishing…. Even though I understand Spanish, can speak it, and perhaps help someone with it, it doesn't make me Hispanic.

Why would a well-educated individual think that just because they know a language makes them that specific nationality? Yet over and over again I see people insist that because you speak Italian you are actually Italian. As a matter of fact, YOU do it all the time!! No need to look around, I'm talking about you.

A preacher stands on the pulpit every Sunday, opens their Bible and offers you translation. Each Sunday you go, you feel yourself getting better and better, you feel stronger and wiser, and then it hits….. You turn on the TV and there is your pastor, being arrested on some type of drug charge and the words fall out of your mouth, "And to think, he was a preacher…"; You think that just because he could translate the Word, and help you solve a problem you were having, he IS the Word. Is this not anymore foolish than believing the ability to communicate in Spanish, makes me Hispanic? Why is it that we have the habit of placing the messenger on the pedestal, not the message?

No one has a free pass to go out and do whatever they want without facing consequences, but just because God called me to help you doesn't mean I don't have my own struggles…. my own issues… There is no level of Christianity where your relationship with Christ is no longer a work in progress. There is always more of Him to fill you and more of that for you to with share others. But just because I speak Christianity doesn't make me Christ. The time must come when we separate the vessel from the anointing and allow people the ability to live their lives and have their own struggles.

It is inevitable that the moment anyone who is well known hits an obstacle in life, that we look back on their past and point out any and every thing that contradicts their stumble. If we were limited to only speaking on things we have mastered there would be a deafening silence…. I can share with you what I have learned, what I have observed, and what I have been taught but I have mastered nothing. I cannot be convinced that anyone has mastered anything. You may have figured out how to communicate with YOUR child at this stage in their life, but as sure as the day turns to evening, that child will grow and you will have to learn how to communicate with your adult child.

I know that many people have seen my beautiful scars and in the moments I start to feel shame I remember that just because you've seen mine, doesn't make yours disappear. I may not ever see your wounds but, I know that if you have air in your lungs and a pulse in your wrist they exist. I don't want to be your saviour, don't want to sell myself as your Christ, I just want to share with you something that may help make your journey a little easier.

The fact that I was able to help one woman, find her bag, in a foreign country, thousands of miles away from her home, doesn't insure that my bag would come out and my trip would be problem free. I may not be struggling with a lost bag, a broken home, a drug issue, a sexual addiction, or a sordid past but I do have a struggle, so does our President, so does your neighbour, so does the person who seems to have it all. No one is exempt from struggle; my ability to help you with something doesn't eliminate my own issue.

All I'm saying is if you put me in your glass house, put my life under your microscope, you won't have to look very hard to find something wrong with me. I speak Christianity, but I'm not Christ.

sarah d henson
sarahdhenson.wordpress.com

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All I have to say is 'you bet'.

State of the mind

It is 0135hrs GMT and normal people, this part of the world, are sleeping; some are so far gone and playing the natural musical instruments via their mouths – snoring. Not me! I am trying to catch up on happenings in and around Nigeria. I have just moved from editing a script to newspaper reading.

The more I read, the more horribly annoying the entire concept named ‘NIGERIA’ seem to become. It was such a nuisance that we really should have it going for us yet we don't.

I had earlier tweeted to ask if there was anyone one who had knowledge of how the economy worked and what their thoughts were. Well the only person that said anything only wanted to ask what business it was that I was thinking of.
Well not that I was really surprised, since people that understand the economy are busy trying to make more money and not sit or lie down some where trying to get some sort of social life. But then again shouldn't we be at the least a little bit interested in the commonwealth of us all?

The problems that confront us seem to me to be ever mounting up. From the issues of the flooding of Lagos State, the nations economic and financial hub, which played itself out and made an absolute nonsense of the tag 'centre of excellence', to the issue of Jamb examinations and the educational system where only less than 40% of those who write the exam will ever gain admission into tertiary education, to the sixty-four thousand dollar question of who constitutes the supposed cabal hindering progress on the rehabilitation of the number one major highway in Nigeria, to the health system that seems to be functioning but truly not.

Then there is the governor insisting that land lords and land developers would pay severely for collapsed building, which should have been approved by the government itself or not if things are being properly done, the hullabaloo of the interest free banking better known as Islamic banking; still wondering why any sane minded person would want to oppose this. Is it because there really is a cause to it or just plain beef at the thought that some person may now begin to make a living without their help?

Gosh... Dry! Dry!!Dry!!!

I am not going to touch any of them because I have a feeling that trying to this night would simply keep me awake all through the night. However I will, so help me God, put to paper my thoughts on some or all of the points stressed above.

On a more heart warming note, here’s a big, no, HUGE welcome home hug to 'you know yourself’. It has been a long wait for me, no point being coy about it. It is nice to have you home.

HaPpY Mid MonTh

Who is asking 'this' question?

When we ask the question 'why me?' What we are really saying is why not him? Or why not her? Or why not every or any other person but me? As if any kind of misfortune on the other person is justifiable so long 'it is not me!'

The pangs of pain could easily weigh the heart down and cause us to be narrow minded, sinister, though unwittingly, and most selfish in the way we process the train of thoughts sweeping through our minds.

I have been there and even now, more times than I want, I still find myself throwing a pity party, lamenting the cantata 'why me?'

It is hard to cope...? You bet!

It may take ages to come to terms with... But like all things, when handed over to God, it will sort itself out. I don't know how or even when, only that eventually the understanding heart receives wisdom... And that is just the start...

Life goes on!