Marriage: the big deal

I guess it is the season I am in that is why all I hear people speak about is marriage. And really the things I hear are absolutely incredible even as unbelievable as some of them sound.

For a yet to be married guy like me too much of these stories are tending towards the bizzare. A young wife found stabbed to death by her husband. A young man married for about 7 years sunddenly lands in hospital because his wife tried to get him out of the way; there was someone already waiting to marry her.

And there's the woman married for almost twenty years and she only enjoyed the first 6 months of the marriage! That is the 'craziest' thing I have heard about marriage in a long time. How can you be in a marriage where there is no intimacy? No passion? Geez.. I almost feel like cursing. But then I have never been married so what are the issues that could have caused this failed marriage. Oo yes it is a failed one since all they share is the same roof and ok the same surname.


For a marriage to succeed the two parties to the contract must agree on three levels spiritual, emotional and physical. A dearth in any, even one will ultimately lead to the death of that union. For what is a spiritual marriage without passion (physical)? What is a passionate marriage without the heart (emotional)?

None of these can be left to the fates... Absolute nonsense to think such. Maybe again I am talking off my head. One thing I know however is each and every requires commitment and a heart that puts the other before self.

Just my thoughts...

Haters!

A hater is someone who is jealous and envious and spends all their time trying to make you look small so they can look tall.
 
They are very negative people to say the least.  Nothing is ever good enough!
             
When you make your mark,  you will always attract some haters...
             
That's why you have to be careful with whom you share your blessings and your dreams, because some folk can't handle seeing you blessed....

It's dangerous to be like somebody else... If God wanted you to be like somebody else,  He would have given you what He gave them!  Right?

You never know what people have gone through to get what they have...
 
The problem I have with haters is that they see my glory,  but they don't know my story...
 
If the grass  looks  greener on the other side of the fence,  you can rest assured that the water bill is higher there too!
 
We've all got some haters among us!
             
Some people envy you because you can:
       a) Have a relationship with God
       b) Light up a room when you walk in
       c) Start your own business
       d) Tell a man / woman to hit the curb (if he / she isn't about the right thing)
       e) Raise your children without both parents being in the home
             
Haters can't stand to see you happy.

Haters will never want to see you succeed.

Most of our haters are people who are supposed to be on our side.
         
How do you handle your undercover haters?

You can handle these haters by:
             1. Knowing who you are & who your true friends are
                *(VERY IMPORTANT!!)
             
             2. Having a purpose to your life: Purpose does not
                 mean having a job. You can have a job and still be
                 unfulfilled.
             
A purpose is having a clear sense of what God has called you to be. Your purpose is not defined by what others think about you.

             3. By remembering what you have is by divine
                 prerogative and not human manipulation.
 
Fulfill your dreams!  You only have one life to live...when its your time to leave this earth, you 'want' to be able to say, 'I've lived my life and fulfilled 'my' dreams,... Now I'm ready to go HOME!
             
When God gives you favor, you can tell your haters, 'Don't look at me...Look at Who is in charge of me....'
             

Just pray for them, that their life can be as fulfilled as yours! Watch out for Haters... BUT most of all don't become a HATER!
     

Maya Angelou

That's my baby!

Now I am smiling
And it is easy to tell that something is tickling
It is easy to tell it is something nice
The grin on my face is almost stupid
But who cares

I am thinking about you
Loved to hear from you this morning
Loved the way my phone called out your name
It was music in my hears
Three days is too long
Too long not to hear from you
But then who cares

Hectic day at work
Changing places
Things upside down
Everyone's busy
But I am not bothered
Absolutely in another world
In my own world
Just me with my thoughts of you
But still who cares

Me me me
Don't even think about it
Don't even go that road and ask me why?
I love my baby
And I love the loving thoughts, the smile
and the way it makes me feel
When it comes to my baby.

My baby?
That's you...

Emotions...

Emotions riding high...
Tilting, falling, oh

Whispers of sudden gloom
Filling the air, choking
Like the smell of smouldering iron
Yes of acid on metal...

The pain, the shame
Sharp and lasting
Like piercing to the heart
Leaving alive, just barely

And yet she lives,
Scared but alive
Like a damaged good
Only more valuable

The senses awakened
Traumatized and fragile but still with life

Hot tears stream down the cheeks
Wetting the parched facial skin

And the heart?
A mosaic of a bittersweet life!

Just a little thought

It was yet another market day
None like had ever been my way
Been waiting for it quite sometime
Now that it was, it seemed the right place to be.

May I ask, sir, what you want?
A voice, almost a whisper came up to me
I turned with obvious relief Only to find a cripple
A lad, I was sure, not more than ten

"Nothing you know anything about"
My pride was hurt, what did he know
To speak to me.
Me!

Now to him I spoke "If you really must know it's .....
It's none of your business"
And turned aside, moving away.

I was now upset
Tired, really fagged out
Three and a half hours burnt roaming the market
And still in search of it

"Ah! It's you again sir
Still looking for it?"
The little cripple, creeping up asked
With disbelief written all over his face

I was the man, he was but a boy
Yet he made me feel So nervous just standing by him
"I fail to see how that bothers you"
Was my reply, with enough venom to choke a snake

But now I looked at him
Straight into his eyes
And caught a glimpse into his soul
Written there was pain beyond his years

He tore my heart then as he smiled
His face creased up in heavenly delight
It took my mind away from me
Away from my selfish thoughts

I had found more than I bargained for
A body of pain filled with joy
And love to give away.

Alone

Lying, thinking last night
How to find my soul a home
Where water is not thirsty
And bread loaf is not stone
I came up with one thing
And I don't believe I'm wrong
That nobody,
But nobody Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.

There are some millionaires
With money they can't use
Their wives run round like banshees
Their children sing the blues
They've got expensive doctors
To cure their hearts of stone.
But nobody
No, nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.
Now if you listen closely
I'll tell you what I know
Storm clouds are gathering
The wind is gonna blow
The race of man is suffering
And I can hear the moan,
'Cause nobody,
But nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Maya Angelou

 

************

Another lovely poem by this woman. She writes as though she sees through the casing (the body) to the soul.

Snapshot!

I took him from my father and though he was reluctant at first but the moment he was in my arms he snuggled in quiet comfortably that I felt the longings for fatherhood.

I lifted him higher and almost placed him across my neck but changed my mind at the last minute. Brought him back down and made him stand on the arm rest of the sofa. And whilst I supported his bum with my hand I pulled away rather fast like I had been stung because his trainer pant felt rather soft. Yes he had done the do-do in the pant and I couldn't believe that no one had smelt it.

Next thing was me yelling that he had done the mighty number two in his pants and where was his mother. Of course I knew she wasn't in but I needed someone to do the cleaning and not me. It was bad enough that I had caught the smell of it on my palm, but my mind just wasn't in the accepting mood for a whole lot more than that.

Pa took him from me and after a long few minutes he came out from 'do-do' cleaning smelling fresh and then I wanted him back.

Got me thinking, yet again; how do men deal with helping their wives with such issues in the home? Whose job is it to change the diapers, cook the meals, help with the children's homework, and administer discipline and a whole lot that goes into raising good children?

Hmm...

By the way, the baby's not mine. But I won't mind him being mine cause he is so cute. *ehehe*  

About two days after the above incidence, a friend lost the baby born a day before. That was really a very depressing and devastating story. I just couldn't believe it initially but it was the brother to the wife who broke the news to me. And then I was faced with the dilemma of calling or paying them a condolence visit. But how do you call one who lost the first baby on the phone to empathize with them on the passing of a child that they had waited at least nine months for? A child that had been bathed, dressed, feed, diaper changed long before its expiration period in the womb? A child already named and a woman already being called a mother simply due to a protrusion that carried another life and signified stepping unto another level?

I really can't imagine the agony of their hearts. Empathizing no matter how much, I would never be able to understand the loss of a bundle that great expectation had been built upon.

I often ponder about the absurdities of this life. The things we take for granted and then we loose them and then wish we had them? I really can't just begin to describe.