Punched by a thief - a one day autobiography

The blow landed just above my left eye that made me see the sun at the most impossible time of the day.
I had no business being in ikeja, about computer Village at that time of the night. No business whatsoever except that i had taken on responsibility that I really had no business with if I wasn't the mister Nice guy.
I missed an outing i was most eager to attend on the island, @wajolagos, that was holding at freedom park (a restored prison of the colonial era). I had planned it out so well, it was so sure I was going to be clicking away on my camera. Smh! But that was not ever to be.
So I was stuck trying to fix someone elses problem so much that i got caught in that ikeja area for more than 7 hrs. Part of the problem were irresponsible and incompetent folks who couldn't provide services that would make you bless them. Anyways if I aint blessing you be sure you are being cursed in a way. They were so absorbed in talking and leaving, they left me doing part of what i was going to pay for. *smiles*
Let me just skip to the interesting part.
There I was afterwards walking to where I was parked which was a considerable distance because I found no parking space within the vicinity of where the business of the day was to be conducted. And from in front of me, facing me as though he was coming from somewhere and going somewhere, suddenly I felt a grab at my jeans pants; like the way caught robbers are jacked by their pants. Intially I felt only a slight irritation because I felt it was someone I knew trying to play a joke on me.
I raised up my face to look at 'the one' who felt that 'this' joke was funny, the millions of faces that I knew flashed before me in a second and I couldn't place his. Then I did the most unexpected thing - pause a bit and try a guess. I bet you would fall short of my next move.
Looking back now I still don't know why I did that or where that boldness came from. I had once been robbed at 'guns' point and it still is an unforgettable experience. Phew! I digress.
Without giving much thought to the fact that he would beat the life out of me, for in that moment I recognised him for whom he was - a thief, I hit him with my free hand curled into a weak, very weak fist (it became more appparent when it connected with his chest area. He was built like a wall. #gulp).
It was just a little after 7PM and I never ever thought things could be as bad as being robbed in the midst of several people going one way or the other. The nerve still annoys me.
Anyways he left me, curled his hands into real fists, pranced around a bit and when he finally let one hand fly, the right it must have been, it connected with the upper left eye of mine and that's where the sunlight that hit my brain came from. Instantly I bleed. My precious blood was shed for his sake. Smh!
What happened next was, a miracle. He must have pushed me because I fell against the wares of the women selling stuffs at the side of the road and they did something they usally don't - they intervened. They saw everything that happened, and even though they would usually not say a word as the operation is being carried out, I was rescued by these women. They pulled him and shoved him and bullied him - all the stuffs i couldn't do to him that at that moment i didn't even think of doing. I WAS EXTREMELY DAZED!!! Then the crowd started forming and still these women defended me. They made sure I stayed where I was, telling me that some of the people who seemed to be trying to intervene like good people, one was actually pointed out to me as one of the bosses, where actually 'wolves'.
The most vocal of the women created a fabulous scene, making so much noise about getting him arrested the next day, raining curses on him - through it all I stood amazed at the entire incident. She took it upon herself to walk me a long way away from there to where I could walk to where I parked without fear.
What a day!!!
You know how we ask each other how was your day, never really knowing what the person as been through because the usual response is fine. Well mine ended fine, even great. I escaped being robbed, would have lost my precious ever stable blackberry (sic!) and probably lost the use of my eye for sometime if the fist had connected to my face a lil bit lower and a lot of other grisly things too 'bloody' even to think.
The funny thing is, and I still don't get, how rather than being upset with the circumstances prevailing that had led to such happening in the country and unfortunately in the state, I can still drive home and have my energy levels high. (Pastor Poju you did well sir).
Now the day is over, night has drawn nigh, there's no shadow anymore stealing across the sky, just me wishing you all a great night.
*PS This is not a figment of anyone's imagination. It is a true life narrative of the 25th day of April, 2013.

To be free...

Sometimes it's all just so hard to keep believing, to keep being strong, to just hold on to that teeny weeny bit of hope one has left when all around seems like its Armageddon. Really, how much more can a single soul take before it gives up hope, and faith and then gives up on life?

This, I guess, is the story of life. How you join the multitudes to tell that one soul never to give up, never to let go, to keep believing, keep hoping, to never say die only for you to touch base with you bed and cry your eyes out not knowing or being sure of what the next month, week, day, or even hour would bring your way.

From the outside everyone thinks you are strong - it is from you they draw strength of optimism. From the smile that never seems to be too far from your face to those words of courage that flow unending, seemingly, from your mouth. They never know just how much you want to scream loud and damn the consequences of being nice or proper or anything but human.

Don't give fear a place in your heart they say; which fear? The one that's already building a fort for itself using distrust, loneliness, insecurity and failure as beams to hold up a structure that once raised would stand the waves of words no matter how filly spoken?

It's hard sometimes to go on living with family and friends to busy trying to schedule time even for themselves, trying to make it too to the next phase.

And you are here - just barely living; existing!  

*deep sigh*

Valentine's day is a problem day!

I write this laughing at the reaction the title of the post would create - 'Valentine's day is a problem day!!'

The note below was sent to me last year and I kept it to use this year. I know that the day is just around the corner and vaults are already being planned to be broken by some to deliver the best ever yet to their 'loved' one.  Please note that it is not a figment of my creative mind *tongue out to anyone who squeezed / wrinkled their nose*.

Enjoy it and pass it on to your friends.


Valentine's day is a problem day!!
Because I don't understand how a set of people (you know yourselves) would want to exchange boxers and singlets, for perfumes, watches, jewelry, phones and more recently "hair" (the topic of giving hair as a gift is for another day because you were not born bald). Scientifically a woman can't be bald, so why buy hair? It's completely overwhelming!!!
Don't you know what trade by barter is? Is it fair to trade boxers for Galaxy Tab on valentine's day? Or exchange singlet for Bold 5? How can you give belt and be expecting iPad2?!!
Ladies! Enough is Enough! #boys are not smiling. Try and  impress him this year. If you know you are buying singlets, boxers etc just tell him to buy you bra and pant (plain cotton not Victoria anything) that's fair enough please. Let's raise d bar this year!!



LOL! (this part is me)

Business Class 101

The last day of the month and the end of January. 'Already'? That is the first word that comes to mind. Was it not just yesterday that we crossed over into the New Year with fireworks and many declarations of resolutions that are mostly being forgotten as the year runs its course?

Hmmmm. I guess we would just need wait a little bit more to know who’s treading the path of courage and pulling the year by the balls and who is allowing the year to give em a kick in the groin.

A few months back, I had a chat via the blackberry messenger with a friend and I have decided to post parts of it here. Names have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals. *wink*

 

Looks like a long read but you'll find it worth your time. This is a classic example of a business class. Hope you enjoy reading it.

*Note that I have left it a lot like the original gist. However I have tried to input a few translations to aid understanding of the non-English parts.

 

JAMES:

Hmmm

JAMES:

Mo mi kanle  (Deep sigh)

Smith:

Kilode

JAMES:

Dat thing they call the ahhh moment is missing

JAMES:

I don't care what anyone tells me

JAMES:

Just one thing will turn RiseNet around

Smith:

Yea

Smith:

Ehn?

Smith:

U get d gist

Smith:

And dats what everyone wanna c

Smith:

Ok...

JAMES:

Believe me if I begin do events coverage frm everywhere

Smith:

And that is...

Smith:

Ok...

JAMES:

Something must shele (something must happen)

Smith:

I still never get o

JAMES:

We are not knwn for anything

Smith:

Explain na

JAMES:

Kk

Smith:

As in...

JAMES:

Lemmie explain

Smith:

Yep

Smith:

U r known for playing movies

Smith:

*Smiles*

Smith:

On TV

Smith:

And dats all

Smith:

Spread

Smith:

*Smiles*

JAMES:

Sorry dat is a perception

Smith:

Unseen spread

JAMES:

I tell u

Smith:

12midnite spread

JAMES:

We are not even good for movies

JAMES:

Cos if we are that alone wld sell us everywhere

JAMES:

But it is not

JAMES:

Well for class the say theories are always evolving

JAMES:

The threory that RiseNet is an entertainment brand is not verifiable

JAMES:

So it is a myth not a theory

JAMES:

No vex o

JAMES:

Na my adult education dey show face

Smith:

*Laughs*

Smith:

Ok

Smith:

I understand

Smith:

Go on

JAMES:

Neither is it verifiable that RiseNet is a movie brand

Smith:

Ok

JAMES:

If u understand what a brand is

JAMES:

U will know that calling RiseNet a movie brand is a fallacy

JAMES:

A brand is identifiable in any form that it may take

JAMES:

For example coke itself in nigeria is not a brand

Smith:

*Smiles*

JAMES:

But the container is

Smith:

*Laughs*

Smith:

U r def right

Smith:

U don start Orange Academy ni?

JAMES:

So even though I drink only coke

Smith:

*Smiles*

JAMES:

If they pour pepsi in a cup I wld most like be confused enuf and even drink it

JAMES:

Lolz

JAMES:

Noooo

JAMES:

This na pure commonsense

JAMES:

​or maybe it is not

Smith:

*Laughs*

Smith:

Ok

JAMES:

Which one is orange academy?

Smith:

Wen u say adult edu

Smith:

Na brand mgt academy for naija

Smith:

For maryland

JAMES:

Now how den do we define RiseNet as a brand

JAMES:

Serious?

Smith:

Ronke don finish him beginners for dere

JAMES:

I musto go dere ni yen o

Smith:

*Smiles*

Smith:

I go start intermediary soon

JAMES:

So u see until we identify what we want to do, identify who we want to serve, identify how etc

JAMES:

We are only joking

Smith:

Leye too has finished beginners

Smith:

Yep

Smith:

True dat

Smith:

Even if u r evolving

Smith:

Some part of u must be clear cut

Smith:

Distinct

JAMES:

Yep

JAMES:

So rite now we just plain confused

Smith:

*mouth wide open*

JAMES:

 oga (wow)

JAMES:

If u can't ave pipu banging down ur door to be on ur show u only smoking weed to get high

Smith:

But u can either despair that the rose bush has thorns or u can rejoice that the thorn bush has roses

JAMES:

Maxwel said

Smith:

Its urs to decide

Smith:

I get ur point bruv

Smith:

Bt look @ what I said earlier

JAMES:

If u r in front and no one is following u, u r simply strolling not leading

Smith:

Its urs to decide

JAMES:

I agree totally

Smith:

This is an avenue to right d wrongs

Smith:

Or continue to whine

Smith:

U either look @ d thorns,or c d roses

JAMES:

We don try to start

JAMES:

E hard

JAMES:

But at least we don start

Smith:

I was so enthralled to c a rose shrub

Smith:

Cos of d excitement I ran to pluck a branch, but alas!!!

Smith:

I had my fingers bruised

Smith:

I remember d first day I went to my wife's house

JAMES:

*mouth wide open*

JAMES:

U be bush mahn o

Smith:

Bt cos I still had my eyes on d rose,I didn't let d blood deter me,I approached the thistles carefully,and stil got my flower

Smith:

Bt I learnt a big lesson since dat day

Smith:

And it has been a guide for me since den

JAMES:

Hmm

Smith:

So we have rushed gragra to approach this

Smith:

Let's look carefully and c where we really need to nip dis by d bud

JAMES:

Hmmm

JAMES:

Oro agba  (words of the elders)

JAMES:

idobale ni mo wa o (I am humbled)

Smith:

*Smiles*

Smith:

What na? U have started o

Smith:

No let me bite u

Smith:

And trust me bruv

Smith:

It applies to eeeevery facet of life

Smith:

Failure in d first instant isn't failure...it was meant to be LESSONS LEARNT

Smith:

*Smiles*

 

 

'Smear Campaign' my foot!

Hmmm. I know this would sound a little bit caustic. But really you could just leave it as the rants of a pondering heart. At least that way you wouldn’t need to get offended / upset or feel bad on my behalf. I stopped feeling bad on my behalf a long while back.

I really wasn’t so interested in the pictures that were flying all over the place cortesy the social media and the broadcast media. A tv station had gotten some ‘balls’ and gone all out crusading the gospel according to ‘their’ conscience. Whether it be altruistic or not, I really don’t care to know. Not like I believe there’s anything altruistically done by men; tis either for the sake of a gladdened heart or for the sake of a future reward. But that is not our point of focus really. 

I’ll tell you why we are here – Mr. President’s remark of the public airing and viral nature of the land mark broadcast of the state of the police college,Lagos, as a ‘smear campaign’ to embarass his government. *mouth drops open*... Geez! I have never heard a more, thinking of a word to describe the irritation that phrase conjures in my head, shameful and unintelligent broadcast via the mouth of his Excellency. Yeah yeah I know we all are prone to several manifestations of mouth diarrhoea, but this takes the shine off all of them. 

In the past I have taken my time to make sure that I do not air my thoughts subjectively, well this statement would be seen as subjective by some, to forestall frivolous posts around Dr. Goodluck Ebele Jonathan's, GCFR, utterances. This case makes it so easy to do – be objective. Or how else am I going to be able to defend his ‘yarns’ that make no sense whatsoever? When year after year billions of naira is set aside for the Nigeria Police Force and yet pictures like the ones found at Nigeriafilms are the results of such spending or appropriation then I really fail to see the purpose of such statements. %*^”! Let your mind think up what that could mean and you would be correct on all counts.

And to think that the documentry was shown as a pre-event run-up to raise funds to rehabilitate the college, one of seven around the country. The event was called off/cancelled/postponed, I bet due to his mEssXELLENCY's rather unfortunate mistalk. What a shame! 

I rest my case for now. Wish you all a happy weekend. *sad face*

Fatality!

Pressing needs; Growing concerns; Unfolding dreams; - the dynamic constants of every New Year. Some tag it New Year resolutions, now whether they truly resolve and stick to it is not why we are here. Others? they give it one name or the other. *shrug* None of all that bothers me. I am not one  for nomenclatures. What we become in the process - THAT interests me. Yeah I know ‘what has that got to do with the title of the post’? *shrug* I dunno. Maybe you'll get it before the end of the reading. Anyway the word brings strong feelings of what can happen when you don't have control of your living - For those young enough to recall Mortal Kombat.

Having journeyed quite a bit this earth *taking a bow*, I have realized and coming to realize a lil bit more daily, that the things that matter the most are not necessarily the things we strive for but the 'who' we become in the process of getting those things. Don’t get me wrong – I chase those things too, even more so this year than I have ever done previously. Why? Because the good things of this life make living more blissful.... Duh!

But I also check me out. Who am I becoming in this process? Good? Bad? Or Ugly? The preceding words here have no correlation to how you look physically. But then again, what you transform to on the inside eventually shows on the outside, I know.

It wasn't meant to be a long post - the wise hear and increase in learning, a phrase is from the good old book.

Have a great week ahead.